I don't normally pass along this kind of material, but if it doesn't generate a few chuckles then
you may be in a coma. Some fine work by Jeff Foxworthy (forgive me if you've already seen these elsewhere):- If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Upstate NY.
- If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights a year because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the nation, and Syracuse gets more snow than any other major city in the US, you might live in Upstate, NY.
- If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through May, you might live in Upstate NY.
- If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live, bundled up, in Upstate NY.
- If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Upstate NY.
- If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Upstate NY.
- If you have worn shorts and a parka on the same day, you might live in Upstate NY.
- If you have had a lengthy phone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Upstate NY.
- "Vacation" means going South past Syracuse for the weekend.
- You measure distance in hours.
- You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
- You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
- You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
- You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
- You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.
- You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
- Down South to you means Corning.
- Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed !
- You go out for a fish fry every Friday.
- Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
- You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
- You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."
-Nort
2 comments:
I have a few words to add in order to make your assesment more accurate.
Saranac Lake is my home town and it is a wee bit chilly aty times. We like this..... alot.
Dairy Queen is for city folks, we love Mountian Mist, which is closed Labor Day to Memorial Day.
Home Depot is also a city idea. We have stores that are actually owned by local people, not conglomerates who take our hard earned money back to corporate headquarters. The reason the guy in the asile offers you assistance is because he's the owner's neighboor.....and so are you. You actually know who you are buying from and the guy in the aisle will also help you get it home in his truck. Vacation means heading to Florida or as far south as you can get in mid March/April. We have all hit a deer more than once and with many different items, including a gun. New York is 6 hours and Florida is 23. The speed limit is 65 which means I can do a comfortable 72 during a snow storm without flinching, with WNBZ blaring. Of course I wear shorts and a ski jacket at Mt. Pisgah in April, who doesn't? MY Halloween costume IS an snowsuit. The four seasons are 1."It doesn't get better than this", 2.Fall Colors, 3.Winter, and 4.Mud. All seasons are filled with tourists, who can drive in Jersey, but can't take a mountian corner to save their souls. If you are from Jersey and are reading this,for God's sake pull over so we can get home at a reasonable hour.
Any idiot who can't work jumper cables does not deserve to drive a car.Fish Fry is fantastic...don't forget to ask for extra tartar sauce at HoJo's. But truthfully, most of us are at the Belvedere, Casa Del Sol, The Hotel Saranac or Little Italy, after which we might just head to Waterhole #3 for a cocktail. HoJo's is in Lake Placid.
We are very proud of our heritage in this little town nestled in the Adirondacks.
Maybe that why we have been voted #1 small town in NY State and #11 in the country.
YEAH!
Hi Patty,
WOW! I want you to know how honored I am that you took the time to post such a thoughtful, detailed comment on the Ballwasher Blog. I grew up in Utica, and went to college in Potsdam, so I felt qualified to share this humorous depiction of Upstate NY life.
So tell me...are you hot? ...and have you ever had sex in a snow cave?
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