Happy Ballwasher Holidays

Fellow Ballwashers,

It's been quite a while since I've posted anything here, but nothing could stop me from sharing some holiday wishes with my Ballwasher brothers and sisters. And to celebrate the holidays I'm sharing this 1988 picture that Shlotz dug out of his Ballwasher archives:

L-to-R: Nort, Shlotz, Coupster, Brit

2007 has been an exciting Ballwasher year, and 2008 promises more of the same!

May you ALL have safe and happy holidays, and we'll be ramping-up the communication as we get closer to the 2nd AlexBay Ballwasher Mid-Season outing!

-Nort

Brit Smacks Ace!

Fellow Ballwashers,

I hope you can forgive me for the recent LACK of Blog Site updates, but I've been kinda busy and it's been hard to carve out time for Ballwasher updates. However, nothing can be more important than making the following historic Ballwasher Announcement...

BRIT shot a Hole-In-One!!!

He accomplished this amazing feat on the 8th hole at Westmoreland golf course on July 12, 2007. The hole was playing 130 yards (a pitching wedge for any man with a working dick) and Brit chose an 8 iron (woman). Nevertheless, it sailed true, took one bounce and rolled straight into the cup. According to Willie you could distinctly hear the ball hit the flag when it dropped in. Willie and two non-Ballwashers had the honor of being in Brit's foursome to witness the event.

While we're on the subject, here are a few interesting Hole-In-One probabilities (source: Golf Digest) that ALL Ballwashers should know:

• Tour player: 3,000 -to- 1
• Low-handicapper: 5,000 -to- 1
• Average player: 12,000 -to- 1
• Average player (200-yard hole): 150,000 -to- 1
• Two players in same 4-some acing same hole: 17 million-to-1
• One player smacking two aces in same round: 67 million -to- 1

Observant Ballwashers will recall that there's a link to the USA Hole-in-One Registry on our Blog site. You may click on the following link to go directly to Brit's Entry in the registry.

And this brings up another worthwhile point! I, too, shot a hole-in-one, wayyyy back in 1974, at Hidden Valley Golf Course, when I was only 13 years old! I would like to know if ANY OTHER Ballwashers have scored Holes-in-One. I think this would be a statistic worth tracking for all Ballwashers, and at the least, we should make sure that our holes-in-one are duly recorded in the Registry, as mine has been and as Brit's now is.

Toby...didn't you score a Hole-in-One, too? Any other Ballwashers have one? Eagles don't count...we're looking for Holes-in-One here!!

And don't forget that the 2007 Final Outing is only 3 WEEKS away now!

-Nort

Final Outing 2007 - Update

Fellow Ballwashers,

The 2007 Ballwasher Final Outing is at the Saratoga Lake golf club on Saturday, September 15. Annual dues paying Ballwashers have already paid for their attendance at the Final Outing. All others must pay $85 to Willie to join in.

Your Final Outing participation fee covers Breakfast, Greens Fees + Cart, and Dinner. Be sure to contact Willie with your attendance plans to ensure you are on the roster.

Don't be a DoucheBag! Be sure to contact Willie with your plans sooner than later to make his job easier.

I've been overwhelmingly slammed with work since the mid-season outing in AB, and I still have more to post, but I haven't had a chance to get it done yet. Hopefully I'll be able to add more on our site before the end of July.

-Nort

TICC - Old Course (June 8)

Fellow Ballwashers,

Here are some good highlights from the course on our first day of golf.

Ballwasher Convoy enroute to the course

The Captain, prior to the 1st Tee Box,
looks like he belongs in a different kind of box.

Ballwashers on the 1st Tee
Kneeling: Al, Doug, Shlotz, Brit, Willie, Rock, Reeser, Chris
Standing: Chuck, Bus, Son-of-Reeser, Lars, Ras, John, Ted, Captain, Mooner, Chunk Missing: Nort

Ras' ball shattered the 200-yard marker on the 9th hole.
It sounded as great as it looked.

More to come soon.
-Nort

The SpoogeMaster 3000

When your cock says you can't, the SpoogeMaster 3000 says Yes you can!

No doubt you already recognize this familiar slogan of the SpoogeMaster 3000 (heck, you probably hum its catchy jingle)...presented to BRIT by Willie on the 1st Tee at TICC as we kicked-off the 2007 Mid-Season Outing on June 8.



















Nothing more really needs to be said here.
These pictures say it all. Be sure to click on the pictures to see them close-up. More good stuff to come.

-Nort

We Did It!

Fellow Ballwashers,

I ask you, my brothers and sisters, is this a picture of Chunk suddenly having a bright idea, or is this a picture of Chunk reflecting on bleary memories of an AWESOME Ballwasher Mid-Season outing??

Seriously...was that great or what?! I can definitely say that 19 Ballwashers had an excellent time in AlexBay this past weekend.

Everyone returned to their everyday existence yesterday, and we have resumed dwelling among normal people once more. MANY pictures are being pulled together right now, and I urgently request that you send me your amusing Ballwasher quotes & anecdotes while we can still remember them (meaning mere minutes remain for most of us). You will love "The SpoogeMaster 3000" that Willie presented to Brit when we kicked-off the outing on Friday morning.

Thank you to everyone who came out to Alex Bay for this outing. Thank you to Dean & Duayne at The Ship Motel for being such gracious hosts to the Ballwashers, and a final thank you to Fred & Brad at TICC for facilitating a great two-day Ballwasher golf event.

Keep coming back for more pictures & stories over the next couple of weeks.
-Nort

Let's Do It !!

Fellow Ballwashers,

If there was ever a movie character who embodied the Ballwasher spirit, it was John (Bluto) Blutarsky in Animal House. He gave a a deeply moving motivational speech in that movie, and I strongly encourage you to click on the link to hear that speech anew, mentally substituting "the Ballwashers" anytime you hear a reference to "Delta House". It almost makes me cry.

Be aware that we stand poised at the brink of a new chapter in Ballwasher history, my brothers. Alex Bay holds great potential as our newest mid-season venue, and it's up to each and every one of us to ensure it lives up to its potential.

Those of you driving from Utica to Alex Bay on Friday morning need to plan on 2.5 hours of drive time. You must be at the TICC "Old Course" on Wellesley Island no later than 9:30am, so plan accordingly. Here's a Google Map Link to refer to.

Following last Friday's comprehensive Ballwasher AlexBay email, two Ballwashers have dropped out (an Admiral II and our sole Lubber). If no one else falls to last-minute DoucheBaggery, we will be a force of TWENTY Ballwashers (making foursomes convenient), changing the landscape of AlexBay!

See you all soon!

-Nort

Alex Bay: Two Weeks and counting...

Fellow Ballwashers,

We're in the final stretch now, and all the preparation & planning will soon be paying-off in Alex Bay. Here is the current AlexBay participant count:

• ADMIRAL I (10)...overnight Thur/Fri/Sat, Golf Fri/Sat
• ADMIRAL II (11)...overnight Fri/Sat, Golf Fri/Sat
• CAPTAIN I (-0-)...overnight Fri, Golf Fri/Sat
• CAPTAIN II (-0-)...overnight Sat, Golf Sat
• LUBBER (1)...NO overnight, Golf Sat
• DoucheBag-Confirmed (11)...NO overnight, NO Golf
• DoucheBag-Unconfirmed (43)...Why are you in this League??

If you have already communicated your desire to participate in the Alex Bay outing, MAKE SURE you let me or WILLIE know if your plans will be changing.

We have 10 open positions we can still fill, but the challenge faced by last-minute Ballwashers will be AlexBay rooming.

If you would like to get on-board NOW, and have not yet stepped-up to inform us, then get your ass in gear NOW...let us know what you'd like to do...and we'll hook you up.

On 01 June 2007, I will contact TICC to finalize our Ballwasher headcount and release unused tee-times if necessary, so be sure to communicate any updates by 31 May.

Remember, don't be a DoucheBag (see DoucheBag criteria #2)!
-Nort