What IS a DoucheBag?

-The following is a Ballwasher Public Service Announcement.
Fellow Ballwashers,

Over the last couple of years you have no doubt seen or heard many references to "DoucheBags". Indeed, in this Blog it's quite common to see expressions like "Don't be a DoucheBag!", or "You stand accused of High DoucheBaggery!". But what exactly IS a DoucheBag, and what are the criteria that a Ballwasher must meet (or behaviors to avoid) to circumvent this worst of all categories of human existence?

The dictionary definition of DoucheBag is... "A small syringe having detachable nozzles for fluid injections, used chiefly for vaginal lavage and for enemas." Ewwww! Clearly, nothing could be more vile!

Then there are the slang applications of "DoucheBag". Hell, there's even a DoucheBag Rating System (my compliments to the Blogmaster at The Douchebag Report for providing this vital public service)!!

But how does this apply to the everyday Ballwasher?? Here are the behaviors that can quickly move a Ballwasher to the ignoble category of DoucheBag.

You are probably a DoucheBag if...

1. You are a "regular" Ballwasher that golfs weekly in the League, but you fail to pay your dues to Willie in a prompt & timely manner with NO WHINING!
2. You make no effort to provide timely feedback/responses when called upon to do so by Ballwasher League & Event organizers. This includes failure to heed calls for updated contact information.
   
3. You complain/whine/piss & moan about your one-of-a-kind Ballwasher attire.
4. You complain/whine/piss & moan about the Ballwashers, or about being a Ballwasher.
   
5. You are a "Vintage Ballwasher" who repeatedly breaks written/spoken commitments to participate in Major Ballwasher Outings, citing ridiculously lame excuses, only to compound your DoucheBaggery by violating Item #2 when we try to find out WTF is going on with your sorry ass.
6. You even THINK about disrespecting WILLIE or BRIT.
7. You feel awkward when throwing a proud Ballwasher Salute.
   

Please regard this list as the start of an evolving "work in process"...an ongoing guideline that will serve to help Ballwashers across the globe to avoid the pitfalls and embarrassment of being a DoucheBag. If none of these items applies to you, then you are likely a Ballwasher in good standing, and you may proudly stand with your head held high!

Participation in our First Ballwasher AlexBay outing is ALSO a step in the right direction...a step toward salvation for those of you in need. It may be too late for some, but there is still time for others to save themselves.

Remember to NOT let unsightly DoucheBaggery happen to you!

-Nort